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સંતા(પોલીસ સ્ટેશનમાં)- સાહેબ મારો કૂતરો ખોવાયો છે. 
પોલીસ - તમે છાપામાં જાહેરાત આપો 
સંતા - સાહેબ, મારો કૂતરો વાંચી શકતો નથી.

સંતા - જો હુ આ નારિયેળના ઝાડ પર ચઢી જઉં તો મને એંજિનિયરિંગ કોલેજની છોકરીઓ દેખાય જશે. 
બંતા - અને ચઢીને... ઝાડ છોડી દઈશ તો મેડિકલ કોલેજની પણ દેખાય જશે.

ડોનની પુત્રીનુ મેરેજ થયુ. બીજા દિવસે તે ઘરે આવી અને પોતાના પિતાજીને બોલી - ડેડ, મારી તેની સાથે લડાઈ થઈ ગઈ છે. 
ડોન - લગ્ન પછી નાની મોટી લડાઈ તો થતી રહે છે... તુ ચિંતા ન કરીશ. 
પુત્રી - એ તો ઠીક છે પણ લાશનું શુ કરુ ?

Peter : "I want my money now!"

Tom : "I will kill myself so thatI won't pay you

*he pulled a gun n shot himself dead*

Peter : "hahaha..... If u think u'll get away with my money ur wrong, i'l follow u until u pay me

*he takes the gun n shot himself dead as well *

Santa : was watching from a distance he laughed n said :"these guys are funny, I want to watch this till the end"....

*he also took the gun and killed himself! TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPEN AT THE END

IPL Season. ..
Dhassu Breakup..
.
A boy threw 6 cricket balls on his gf..
.
.
.
GF: "wat the hell was that?"
.
.
.
BOY: "its over"....!...

Girlfriend: Dear, it's my birthday tomorrow.
Pappu: Happy birthday in advance!
Girlfriend: What gift shall you give to me?
Pappu: What do you want?
Girlfriend: A 'Ring'.
Pappu: I shall give you a 'Ring' but please don't pick it up as my balance is very less!:p


Gujju & Chinese in a train.
A cockroach enters.
Chinese catches it & eats it!
Another cockroach enters.
Gujju catches & asks d chinese:
Kharidega?

Chintu : Itne Chaote Chaote Baal Kyu Katvaye Hai?

Pintu : Vo Nai Ke Pas Tin Rupiye Chautte Nahi The. Is Liye

Maine Kaha Tin Rupiye Ke Aur Kat Do.

An employee goes to his boss to discuss his appraisal. Boss starts asking questions:

Boss - There are 50 bricks on an airplane. If u drop 1 outside. How many are left?

Employee - That's easy. There are 49 left.

Boss - How would you put an elephant into a fridge?

Employee - Open the fridge. Put the elephant in. Then close the fridge.

Boss - How would you put a deer into the fridge?

Employee - Open the fridge. Take the elephant out. Put the deer in. Then close the fridge.

Boss - It's the lion's birthday. All animals are at the party except one. Who is missing & why?

Employee - Deer is missing because it is in the fridge.

Boss - An old woman wants to cross a swamp
filled with crocodiles. How will she do it?

Employee - She just has to cross from 1 side to the other because all the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday party.

Boss - Last question.
The old lady still died why crossing the swamp. How?

Employee - Err... I guess she drowned?

Boss - No! She was hit by the brick that fell from the airplane.
You may leave.

Moral: Jitna marzi prepare karlo. Agar boss ko tumhari leni hai to leke hi manega..

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